What I’ve Been Up To, In 2 Poems: Part 1

Hi, lovely friends,

Sorry it's been a little quiet here lately. But to make up for it, here are two poems that I think best summarize what I've been up to! I'm going to post them one at a time. It feels amazing to be so raw and honest with you all. This is me, on display, right here.

Poem #1:

WANTING

I was living life,
creating,
loving,
Making money,
Unencumbered,
Guiltless,
minding my own business,
when the wanting showed up --
again --
totally uncalled for,
with a great flair and roar.

Or maybe it snuck up,
Having laid low.

The wanting,
So many years old,
it crawled back into me
like a spirit,

How long
HaveI been calling? 

Maybe it just bloomed inside me,
Silent and sighing,
multiplying like some invasive species,
filling my throat to capacity,
with the tenacity
of a million newborns pushing out into life
for the first time,
Making me cry out.

The wanting,
childhood friend,
familiar as my own skin
and bone,
saying hello like we've never met before,
running headlong into me,
knocking me off my feet,
making my heart crumple 
into the crumbs of
what's wrong with me?

Hi there.
I am back,
Whole again,
Or at least 
Stitched up with new strength,
Patched up with fresh
Possibilities,

I am back,
Piece of cake,
Dusting myself off,
all cocky, 
fake it till you make it,
I am back with a vengeance,
Baby,
Back like a terminator
In a brand-new century,
Looming large,
Fresh and clear,
Like a mirror,

Crafting modern meaning
Loving,
Living,
Breathing,

The wanting lulled back into
nap,
To the murmur
Of my shy
Believing.

Thanks for reading! Also, Vermont College of Fine Arts, thanks for the weekly poetry prompts that keep my spirit going. Poetry has been a real lifesaver, honestly. More soon!